Hulk sorry Hulk not post yesterday. Fingers caught in "chinese finger trap" for the whole day. Finally, stupid puny Dr. Strange with his cape that makes Thor look "manly" came in and did some hocus pocus and made the trap disappear.

THANK YOU DR. STRANGE. Now, how about you help Hulk get jelly jar open so Hulk can make sandwich.

Hulk gets email:

Hulk need feminism education. And sensitivity training. And anger
management classes.

Problem with Hulk is Hulk is Hulk.

Hulk have no problems if puny human women wouldn't cause problems!

It official. Hulk in a "Bizarre Love Triangle."

EVERYTIME HULK SEES YOU FALLING
HULK GETS DOWN ON HIS KNEES AND PRAYS.

Hulk have to watch his dancing, as puny human Jarvis yells at him when he dances too hard.

Hulk tried to go to mass yesterday morning, but got kicked out during communion. ONE CRACKER NOT ENOUGH TO SLAY HULK'S MIGHTY HUNGER. They should hand out snack cakes. And root beer.

NOW HULK GETS EMAIL FROM OTHER GIRL SAYING HULK'S INTERNET GIRLFRIEND IS BAD NEWS.

This is what she sent Hulk.



Now Hulk all confused.

Hulk's new girlfriend not writing Hulk regularly. It makes Hulk sad. Maybe Hulk should write her back or something.

Hulk has been playing GameCube version of game based on movie about Hulk. Hulk wants to know who that little puny human is that Hulk moves around on the screen for parts of the game. He looks familiar to Hulk.

HULK HAS NEW GIRLFRIEND. NOBODY TELL BETTY. Or Rock Man. Rock Man will never let go of it. Rock Man will be like "HA STUPID HULK HAS INTERWEB GIRLFRIEND!" Hulk could mention that Rock Man's girlfriend is blind and sculpts things that look like piles of poop, but Hulk not that kind of guy.

Hulk not welcome in The Hamptons, Hulk found out. White people hate everyone, even green people!

Puny Human Steve writes:

Hulk needs an opinion about the California election. I think Hulk should tell California voters to 'smash' puny Gray Davis.

Hulk thinks every politician needs smashing. Hulk can't believe Conan is running for mayor of California!

Hulk likes books. Hulk can't read that good, but Hulk finds them soothing.

GO AWAY PAPARAZZI. HULK WANTS TO READ.

Hulk is in a bad way and Hulk just knows that some puny human is going to start doing some bad stuff and need smashing. Listen, if stuff happens in your area today, just smash bad guy yourself.

Hulk have headache this morning. Hulk took Hawkeye's Excederin but it not working. This is what Hulk gets for trying to kick caffeine habit. Next thing you know, Hulk will be trying Yoga and listening to new age music like Enya and The Charlie Daniels Band.

Hulk like three things in life.

1) Smashing things
2) Snack cakes
3) Sunshine.

THE LACK OF NUMBER THREE IS MAKING HULK NOT TOO HAPPY.

Hulk have to sit in mansion, listening to stupid Thor talking about stupid Gods stuff. "Thou art most disgusting, Hulk! Thine Twinkie wrappers cover yon floor!" and stupid babble like that. Why stupid God Man talk like that? Makes Hulk want to engage in thing 1.

CLICK HERE. For some reason, this made Iron Man cry a lot this morning. He cried and cried like Hulk did when Hulk petted deer in the woods and it slept.

Hulk tried to play golf the other day with Tony Stark. He kept stopping to drink from his canteen and said that "Ketel One is the pause that refreshes."

He stumbled a bit. By the ninth hole, Hulk beat him by 8 strokes and Hulk never played golf before.

HAHAHAHAHA! This is what happens when Spider-Man interrupts Hulk's root beer time! Thank you, puny human Liam!

Hulk been busy. Hulk volunteered to help neighborhood kids smash bullies. Three are in hospital so far - seven more to go! You hear me, Jeff Dugan? TIME FOR YOUR REIGN OF TERROR ON JFK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TO END!!!!