Hulk has decided Hulk is going to bring "Sexy" back.

Hulk will have to find "Sexy" first.

Hulk wants "Sexy" to get home in time for the holidays! Everyone deserves a good Christmas!

HAHAHAHA SHUT UP IRON MAN SHUT UP!!!!

OH MAN HULK'S ATM CARD WAS STUCK IN THE ATM.

Hulk kept hitting the buttons and saying "Please let Hulk have his ATM card back because Hulk wants to go buy a Playstation 3 and play that Ultimate Alliance game Hulk is in with everyone, even the Punisher" but the machine was all like BEEP BOOP NO NO NO.

And Hulk tried to be nice and called the people at his bank and Hulk said "Hulk has money because Hulk just got a deposit and Hulk would like to get it!" and the bank's answering machine said "Leave a message and we will get back to you as soon as possible" and Hulk was like "HULK JUST LEFT A MESSAGE WHY CAN'T YOU HEAR THAT?"

And that's why Hulk now owes Bank of America $43,000 for two ATMs in the Union Square area.

The end.

"NORTON" asked Hulk a question about movies and Hulk is going to answer it.

"Norton" asked:

Hulk, I have just watched a DVD called "THE ULTIMATE AVENGERS" and I was just wondering how much money you made from it, since you have a big role in the movie?

Hulk is sorry you watched that movie because it is full of big stupid lies about Hulk and how mean he is! The producers of that movie said that Hulk is a "public figure" and can be used in a movie even if he doesn't want to be in a movie just like President Monkey Man was used in that fat man's movie that was called FAHRENHEIT 9/11.

Hulk is not happy about that, but there is nothing Hulk can do about it.

Hulk has to go back to cleaning the house now because Ant-Man is coming over to play computer game hockey later. HULK WILL SMASH HIS PUNY HARTFORD WHALERS.

HA HA ITALY HAS A STUPID GIANT
ANT PROBLEM THAT WILL PROBABLY
COST A LOT TO GET RID OF!!!!

Hulk feels "sorry" for Italy because Hulk knows how tough it is to beat up ants, especially if you leave pizza boxes lying around like Italy probably does all the time STUPID ANTS!!!

AND HELLO MICHAEL FLEMING. Why did you make this picture of Hulk that makes Hulk so sad? :( Where did Hulk's hands go? TELL HULK!!

Bono says "PEACE OUT! HIPPIE MAN!"


Hulk says "KEEP ON SMASHING!"

WHOSE
SIDE
ARE
YOU
ON?

OK OK EVERYONE PLEASE CALM DOWN HULK IS BACK PLEASE SIT DOWN QUIET IN THE BACK PLEASE.

Hulk had to go out to the desert to fight "The Leader," who is a bad guy who has a very large stupid head. Here is a picture of "The Leader."
"The Leader" may have a VERY LARGE AND STUPID HEAD but he has a "teleporter" that he says he made himself and that must mean he's almost as smart as Puny Richards from the Fantastic Four.

"The Leader" teleported Hulk into space at the very top of Earth's air-bubble that is called "the atmosphere"! Hulk ended up falling back down and landed in "Australia" where Hulk was very sad to see that "The Crocodile Hunter," a man who was very nice to Crocodiles despite having a name like that died and so Hulk just sort of hung around around with dingos and kangaroos and koalas and platypuses.

Here is a picture of Steve Irwin feeding babies (Hulk thinks they are babies anyway - that is what the one on the right looks like) to crocodiles! Hulk may not agree with feeding babies to animals usually, but Hulk is sure Steve Irwin, "The Crocodile Hunter" had a good reason to feed babies to animals.

Hulk is not a police officer any more because Hulk broke too much stuff and went and fought The Leader instead of going back to work after his suspension so now Hulk is looking for a job again. The Avengers told Hulk they could offer him "temporary worker" status so Hulk could get a little pocket money, but Hulk has bills to pay, like two months of rent!!!

Hulk has the day off from being a police man and the nice sergeant man at the police station who is Hulk's boss said Hulk may get to take "a really, really long vacation" because Hulk "took unreasonable steps" to stop that bad man with the gun.

Hulk doesn't think that throwing the man in the Hudson River is "unreasonable," but Hulk likes having time off!

OK SO HULK IS SORRY HULK HAS NOT BEEN WRITING SO MUCH IN HULK'S DIARY OF LATE.

Do you want to know the reason that Hulk has not been writing so much in Hulk's diary of late? Hulk has been very busy filling out "paperwork" at his job place where he is a policeman and do you know that it's very annoying to do that? At least Hulk has a big keyboard on his police work computer where he can type things like:

Hulk stopped robbery by smashing puny van that jewel thieves were driving and then Hulk had a milkshake and walked an old lady across the street. This is what Hulk did today.

The other day, Hulk saw "Daredevil," who is the Man Without Fear when Hulk was near "Hell's Kitchen" (the part of New York City, not the TV show with the really, really mean chef) and Daredevil said Hulk was "fighting the good fight," but maybe Hulk should think about being a regular superhero instead of a police superhero because then Hulk can go fight aliens and stuff instead of jaywalkers.

Hulk wonders how Daredevil is handling the heat in his suit. It is all red and covers his whole body and stuff. Hulk hopes he has a Nalgene bottle that he carries with him so he does not get dehydrated. It has been so hot in New York City!!!!

HEY PEOPLE IN NEW YORK THAT SELL BOOTLEG HULK STUFF WITHOUT ASKING HULK.



Hulk sees you! Hulk is not happy and HULK HAS A BADGE AND A GUN NOW POW POW!!!!

Hulk knows it has been a while since Hulk wrote in his internet diary but Hulk has been very busy. Did you know that Marvel Comics, who make comic books about the Hulk, have a big "storyline" going on right now called Planet Hulk and in it, Hulk goes into space and beats up people on another planet?

That is not what Hulk has been doing. Hulk decided to be like Shaq and join the police force, but not the police force in Miami, but the NYPD, who are the New York Police Department. Hulk has been in "the academy" lately and is too tired when he gets home to write in his internet diary.

ANYWAY, Hulk got his "certification" and can be a police officer, but has to wait until they make a uniform for Hulk.

So Hulk will tell you people about being a police officer in the near future, when he will be a real police officer!

ALSO:
Go look at this pretty comic strip by Katie!!!

Hulk only gets one of these (HULK GETS A KITTY IN THE ONE HULK GETS!!!) but Hulk really likes the art in these comic strips about Hulk.

Here is the first strip!
Here is the second strip!
Here is strip C!
Here is the fourth strip!

Thank you Katie Cook for making good comics about Hulk!

HULK DOES NOT TALK BABY TALK!!!

STUPID COMIC BOOK PEOPLE LISTEN UP! HULK HERE! HULK DOES NOT TALK BABY TALK!!!! HULK IS NOT A BABY!!!!!!

Hulk does not like tumors so Hulk thinks this is really really neat!



Thank you Phil who sent Hulk the scan!

Hulk may not make a good ninja, but he is really good at being a sumo wrestler and he is not even FAT!!!

Silver Samurai, you know who Hulk is talking about when Hulk says he sure did kick somebody's "tucchus" around Central Park today when somebody who is big and silvery and wears Japanese armor was trying to do evil!!!

THE WATCHER POSTED IN HULK'S COMMENTS:

dear Hulk,
your blog has become stale and repetitive. I can't say that there was really anything in the way of substance to begin with. Anyway, i'm just letting you know that this long time reader will no longer be reading your sporatic half-hearted posts. Good bye hulk.

Hulk has this to say about The Watcher because he decided to be rude to the Hulk and Hulk feels he can be rude to him back because if there's anything that Hulk has learned from his years of hanging out with Thor and Iron Man it's that you should say what is on your mind and maybe hit someone with a hammer.

You have a head that makes The Leader's look normal-sized and not stupid and tall and green! You wear a bathrobe all the time and can't be bothered to put on pants when people visit you on your secret place that is in the "blue area" on the Moon! You are like the crazy man that stands on the corner near Hulk's apartment and yells and women and sometimes has to get talked to by the police-men!

Why should Hulk care if you read his secret diary?

PS> Hulk doesn't read your diary, either! Take that!


BYE BYE "WATCHER!" BYE BYE!!!

Man, Hulk thought Hulk knew what music was. Hulk liked ELO and Chicago and Peter Cetera's solo work and that was good.

But now Hulk has discovered Morrissey's songs and they are so good because he speaks to the pain that Hulk carries deep inside of him.

Yes, sometimes even Hulk thinks "Everyday Is Like Sunday."

And if Spider-Man were a hairdresser, Hulk would set him on fire like that one Morrissey song called "Hairdresser On Fire."

MAN ALIVE, HULK GETS HUNGRY JUST LOOKING AT THIS COOKBOOK HULK WAS ON THE COVER OF!!!!

Hulk is sorry Hulk has not put anything on his internet diary in the last couple of weeks.

Hulk has been busy with superhero stuff! Hulk is a busy man and sometimes he doesn't have time to type words on the computer that show up on his internet diary! Next time you say to yourself "Self, why has Hulk not blogged?" think about Hulk smashing aliens and stuff to keep you safe!

PS> JUGGERNAUT STINKS.

Mike Manley is a very good drawer of comic books and he drew this picture of Hulk fighting Iron Man for a friend of his and it's a very good drawing and he even made the colors all dotty like old comic books!


Hulk likes it when people show Hulk beating up Iron Man!!!

Hulk borrowed the camera that Spider Bug-Man keeps on his belt when he is doing things and taking pictures for the Hitler-Man and giving the credit to "Peter Parker" because he wanted to show some pictures of his neighborhood for his internet friends! This is the neighborhood that Hulk lives in called "The Village" in New York City.


This is the record store that sells music that goes
BOOM BOOM BOOM THUMP THUMP
THUMP BOOM BOOM BOOM and sometimes
Hulk sees Doctor Strange's assistant "Wong"
walk out of there with "Diva House."


This is the dumpster that Hulk had to put stuff in
after Iron Man came by his apartment and they knocked
down a wall while playing Super Smash Brothers. The
bottle belongs to Iron Man because he drinks a lot of
special juice that makes him super brave!


A BUNCH OF SUPERVILLAINS STAY HERE A LOT.
It is the home of the "Hell's Angels" but for supervillains
they are very nice guys except when they rev their engines
on their supercool motorcycles a lot.


Hulk found out Hulk can't ride this horse.
:(

Hulk really knows how comic book Hulk feels sometimes when Hulk is working really hard at making sure no bad guys come and smash up New York City and he keeps punching and hollering and smashing and eventually, a lot of time passes but Hulk doesn't notice until his tummy gets all rumbly like Fin Fang Foom.

The end.

Hulk likes it when people like his internet friend Gwen send him links to thinks that are very important and awesome like this group on the internet website "FLICKR" that is about pictures of Hulk and Hulk toys.

It is a very, very good thing to see that people like Hulk enough to do something like this.

DEAR MAYOR OF THE CITY OF NEW YORK:

Hulk is very glad he gets to live in your city and is really happy to help out when bad people come to New York and want to do things like "blow up buildings" and stuff like that. However, you need to realize that sometimes when bad people show up to do things, Hulk has to take "extreme measures" to take care of things.

That is why Hulk had to throw the Statue of Liberty at Thor. Hulk was sure Thor was actually a space alien who wanted to make people believe he was Thor.

Hulk is sorry.

Love,
Hulk.

COMPUTER INTERNET UPDATE.

Hulk is sorry Hulk has been busy, but somebody who is almost as way-cool as Hulk is is now on the internet and he is typing and you should read his internet website. THIS IS THE LINK TO CHEWBACCA'S DIARY THAT IS ON THE INTERNET.

HULK HATES CROSSWORDS AND STUPID BUG-MAN SO VERY MUCH!!!

HERE IS ANOTHER HULK TOY THAT HULK IS VERY VERY NOT HAPPY ABOUT.



Hulk looks like he is going to grab you in your girly places if you are a girl. If you are a boy and Hulk grabbed you there, he may break your ribs but he would not make you feel dirty and Hulk doesn't want you to feel dirty!!!

If you all who read Hulk's Diary That Is On The Internet want to find out what happened to the nice kitty named Savannah, then you better click here!

Hulk is very proud Hulk helped Savannah get better with the help of all of Hulk's internet friends!!!!

You know how Hulk posted about Hulk toys that Hulk saw on the internet?

Hulk saw this Hulk "bobblehead" and Hulk wonders why they have to make it look like Hulk really likes licorice candy a lot more than Hulk does!!!