Hulk has gotten a lot of emails and comments wanting to know why Hulk hasn't updated his diary that is on the internet lately and Hulk wanted to also address some rumors that have been floating around about Hulk that need to be talked about because people need to know the truth about what has happened to Hulk of late, ok? OK! Hulk will put the things Hulk will say in a list because Hulk learned from Iron Man that it is the best way to tell people what is going on with Hulk and other things that need to be put in language that is clear.
- Hulk is not dating crazy Lindsay Lohan. Hulk only wanted to help the nice girl from that movie about mean girls get from the nightclub she was in back to her limousine. She kissed Hulk on the cheek and all of the papers in New York City (yes, I am talking about you, J. Jonah Jameson and stupid Peter Parker at the Daily Bugle!!!!) decided to run a picture of it like it was a fact that Hulk was spending time with her. Hulk only was nice to her that one time and Hulk really hopes that she enjoys her time in Wonderland. Hulk read about Wonderland in Peter Pan (or maybe Hulk saw the movie) and it sounds like a nice place to learn to stop drinking that stuff that looks like water but really isn't!!!!
- Hulk is not in outer space. That is a story in comic books that Marvel Comics puts out about Hulk. Hulk knows this is hard to understand, but COMIC BOOKS ARE NOT REAL. Hulk has had to move to "Brooklyn" because Hulk can't afford the place Hulk had in "Greenwich Village," but Hulk has a nice neighborhood and nobody stares at Hulk too much because compared to some of his neighbors, Hulk is quiet and nice.
- Hulk is not dead. Hulk just has been busy saving the world instead of writing in his internet diary! Did any of you hear about Hulk stopping The Leader's stupid beam that erased people's brains and made them all his slaves? That is what Hulk spent time doing instead of typing in the computer internet! Hulk also punched out a big monster in Tokyo after Doctor Strange sent him there and played golf with Thor (who is not dead either so stop asking Hulk about that) in ASGARD, which is a very nice place to play golf but Hulk thinks you may have a tough time getting there.
There. That is what Hulk has been up to lately! What have you been doing?!?!?
