Hi. My name's Kevin Church and I've been helping The Hulk with his blog (or "diary," as he insists on calling it) since October, 2001. This has been a great experience and I've met and spoken to a lot of great people because of this, but I'm announcing that it's over. The great experiment has ended. Now that Arnold Schwarzenegger is in control of the world's fifth largest economy, humor and irony are officially dead. You can't beat what real life is providing, you know?

It's been a great two years, but Hulk says he needs to move out of Avengers Mansion and go "find Hulk," or something. This will allow me to live my existence without watching snack cake wrappers pile on my floor while he dictates to me VERY LOUDLY and maybe, just maybe, I'll get my Grand Funk Railroad box set back. If you're curious about my life, visit my blog, but my life is stiff and dull compared to the jade giant.

Special thanks to Jenn, Ruby, the whole perfectworld crew and everyone else who wrote in or sent pictures from the four corners of the globe - you made our days better and gave Hulk something to talk about besides his favorite Pokemon (Charizard) and snack cakes. If you want some fine, funny material I really recommend my good friend Spatch and his observations on life, the universe, and a place called CAT TOWN.

Thank you, and good night. We'll see you next time, PASADENA.

HULK IS BACK SEE POST HULK JUST MADE!!!!!

MAYOR CONAN OF CALIFORNIA SAYS HE WILL CUT BUDGET!!!!



HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Man, Hulk funny.

GET MOVIE ABOUT HULK FOR NEXT TO FREE.

OK. HULK POPPED PRINGLES.

NOW HULK CAN'T STOP.

LOOK OUT SNACK AISLE AT A&P!!!

Hulk thinking about buying acoustic guitar, but they don't make one big enough for Hulk's hands.

Hulk could write folk songs about adventures.

Songs with names like "Gamma Mama" and "Hulk Is Strong, You Are Puny" and "Why Thor Talk Like That?"

And you would buy the record, right? RIGHT?

Hulk not remember agreeing to these. Why they use puny Wolverine Man and Daredevil Man? They should use Hulk for all if they going to rip Hulk off.

OH NO. JENNIFER AND BEN'S WEDDING IS OFF! NOW HULK HAVE TO TELL COUSIN JENNIFER SHE IS NOT HIS DATE TO IT.

Why are Iron Man and Thor laughing at me? WHAT?

This happened HOW LONG AGO?

OK LOOK PEOPLE YOU HAVE TO INFORM HULK OF THESE THINGS. NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU TELL ME BRITNEY AND JUSTIN...WHAT?

HULK TOOK QUIZ. HULK GAVE HIMSELF AN A+

1. What is your Full Name: HULK, THE INCREDIBLE
2. What color trousers are you wearing right now? PURPLE SHORTS
3. What are you listening to right now: IRON MAN DOING DISHES
4. What are the last 2 digits of your phone number: 69 HA HA HA
5. What was the last thing you ate: TWINKIE
6. If you were a crayon what color would you be: GREEN
7. How is the weather right now: NOT BAD
8. Last person you talked to on the phone: BEN GRIMM.
9. First thing you notice about the opposite sex: HEIGHT
10. Are you hungry right now: YES
11. How are you today: I AM FINE, HOW ARE YOU?
12. Favorite Drink: MOUNTAIN DEW.
13. Favorite Alcoholic drink: HULK DOESN'T DRINK
14. Favorite Sports: SMASHING
15. Hair Color: GREENISH BLACK
16. Eye Color: Green
17. Do you wear contacts: NO
18. Siblings: WHAT THAT MEAN?
19. Favorite Month: ANY MONTH WILL DO.
20. Favorite Food: TWINKIES
21. Last Movie you Watched: WINNIE THE POOH
22. Favorite Day of the Year: EVERY DAY IS A-OK
23. Are you too shy to ask someone out: NO. I TELL THEM TO COME OUT.
24. Summer or Winter: YES
25. Hugs or Kisses?: NO THANKS. HULK NOT KNOW YOU.
26. Chocolate or Vanilla: BOTH.
27. Do you want your friends to write back: SURE WHY NOT?
28. Who is most likely to fill this survey out: IRON MAN AND JARVIS
29. Who is least likely to fill this survey out: THOR
30. Living Arrangements: IN AVENGERS MANSION
31. What books are you reading: HA HA HA.
32. What's on your mouse pad: COOKIE CRUMBS
33. Favorite Board Game: HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS
34. What did you do last night: PLAYED NINTENDO. SMASHED BAD GUYS.
35. Favorite Smells: COOKIE AND SNACK CAKE SMELLS
36. Can you touch your nose with your tongue: NO.
37. What inspires you? KITTENS AND MONKEYS.
39. Favorite Flower: THE SMASHABLE KIND.
40. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning:
"MORE TIME TO SMASH!"

WHERE THOR PUT COPY OF BAY CITY ROLLER'S GREATEST HITS?

Hulk really want to rock out. Stupid Thunder God Man.

HULK HAVE IDEA FOR NEW TV PROGRAM THAT WILL BE SHOWN ON THE TELEVISION.

It is called Hulk Eye For The Puny Human Guy and in the show, Hulk will go to a Puny Human's place and show them how to live life like Hulk!

"Oh, Hulk notices that you do not have snack cakes!" Hulk will then provide snack cakes.

"Hulk thinks you do not have enough purple pants. Girls love purple pants, Puny Human!" Hulk will then take Puny Human shopping.

"Hulk thinks you need to do something about decorations in Puny Human Apartment." Hulk then smashes apartment!

What do you think? Hulk should call agent, maybe?

Hulk have strep throat, apparently.

This means no kisses!

Hulk currently sucking on a lozenge the size of a hubcap.

Hulk reading today.

So far, Dick and Jane and Spot and Sally have been up to shenanigans.

EEK. Hulk scared.

Hurricane is coming.

Hulk ready.

Hulk have yellow rubber boots and umbrella with Hello Kitty on it.

People complained about "Hulk Dogs" in movie they made about Hulk.

HERE IS HULK DOG FROM REAL LIFE.

OH NO DOG!

OH BOY THEY WILL LET VISITORS INTO THE WHITE HOUSE.

Hulk will have to visit now. Take the tour! See where Hulk accidentally smashed big chunk of West Wing in battle with mindless hordes!

Hulk went to play miniature golf last night. Kept hearing it was fun like Mario Golf.

It was actually a big pain in Hulk's butt. Puny human putters do not allow Hulk to properly play game. Is like you puny humans playing with a toothpick and a marble. MAKES HULK MAD.

So Hulk smashed up the Putt Putt. Stark Enterprises cutting them check for new place. This time, they will build a "Hulk-Enabled Play Area" whatever that means.

HULK HAS BEST INTERNET GIRLFRIEND EVER. RUBY, HULK LOVES YOU THIS MUCH!

Oh. You can not see Hulk's arms. They are spread very wide.

Hulk show you poem Ruby wrote for him.

My Love

Your skin glows like an apple, blossoms green as the daisy in the purest hope of spring.
My heart follows your god harp voice and leaps like a bull at the whisper of your name (HULK).
The evening floats in on a great bluebird wing.
I am comforted by your shorts that I carry into the twilight of snackbeams and hold next to my arms.
I am filled with hope that I may dry your tears of root beer.
As your muscles fall from your shorts, it reminds me of your treat.
In the quiet, I listen for the last roar of the day.
I wait in the moonlight for your secret Wafers so that we may smash as one, leg to leg, in search of the magnificient green and mystical dove of love.

NOW THERE IS INTERNET CHAT ABOUT HULK'S DIARY. Hulk all embarassed. Hulk have warning to Puny Human who impersonated Hulk and made comment about Wonder Woman. WONDER WOMAN IS FAKE, STUPID NICHOLAS. SHE IS A COMIC BOOK CHARACTER. Hulk is real. Hulk only Human, Flesh and Blood, a man.

OK, Hulk has to find his copy of Human League's greatest hits. They were a good superhero team.

WEATHER IS MUCH BETTER TODAY.

Now Hulk can give Thor back his stupid hat.

WEATHER SUCKS. It has been...2..3..4...FIVE DAYS OF RAIN AND DRIZZLE AND FOG AND IT IS LIKE LONDON BUT WITHOUT HOUSE MUSIC AND PEOPLE WITH FUNNY ACCENTS.

Hulk asked Thor to fix weather. Thor gave Hulk "crap" about trying to make Thor Hulk's personal weather fixer.

Stupid gods.

Puny Human Janine has photo of Hulk on toilet. Hulk rather embarassed.



PS> Darling Ruby, your lips are like sweet candy. Hulk likes candy.

Hulk sorry Hulk not post yesterday. Fingers caught in "chinese finger trap" for the whole day. Finally, stupid puny Dr. Strange with his cape that makes Thor look "manly" came in and did some hocus pocus and made the trap disappear.

THANK YOU DR. STRANGE. Now, how about you help Hulk get jelly jar open so Hulk can make sandwich.

Hulk gets email:

Hulk need feminism education. And sensitivity training. And anger
management classes.

Problem with Hulk is Hulk is Hulk.

Hulk have no problems if puny human women wouldn't cause problems!

It official. Hulk in a "Bizarre Love Triangle."

EVERYTIME HULK SEES YOU FALLING
HULK GETS DOWN ON HIS KNEES AND PRAYS.

Hulk have to watch his dancing, as puny human Jarvis yells at him when he dances too hard.

Hulk tried to go to mass yesterday morning, but got kicked out during communion. ONE CRACKER NOT ENOUGH TO SLAY HULK'S MIGHTY HUNGER. They should hand out snack cakes. And root beer.

NOW HULK GETS EMAIL FROM OTHER GIRL SAYING HULK'S INTERNET GIRLFRIEND IS BAD NEWS.

This is what she sent Hulk.



Now Hulk all confused.

Hulk's new girlfriend not writing Hulk regularly. It makes Hulk sad. Maybe Hulk should write her back or something.

Hulk has been playing GameCube version of game based on movie about Hulk. Hulk wants to know who that little puny human is that Hulk moves around on the screen for parts of the game. He looks familiar to Hulk.

HULK HAS NEW GIRLFRIEND. NOBODY TELL BETTY. Or Rock Man. Rock Man will never let go of it. Rock Man will be like "HA STUPID HULK HAS INTERWEB GIRLFRIEND!" Hulk could mention that Rock Man's girlfriend is blind and sculpts things that look like piles of poop, but Hulk not that kind of guy.

Hulk not welcome in The Hamptons, Hulk found out. White people hate everyone, even green people!

Puny Human Steve writes:

Hulk needs an opinion about the California election. I think Hulk should tell California voters to 'smash' puny Gray Davis.

Hulk thinks every politician needs smashing. Hulk can't believe Conan is running for mayor of California!

Hulk likes books. Hulk can't read that good, but Hulk finds them soothing.

GO AWAY PAPARAZZI. HULK WANTS TO READ.

Hulk is in a bad way and Hulk just knows that some puny human is going to start doing some bad stuff and need smashing. Listen, if stuff happens in your area today, just smash bad guy yourself.

Hulk have headache this morning. Hulk took Hawkeye's Excederin but it not working. This is what Hulk gets for trying to kick caffeine habit. Next thing you know, Hulk will be trying Yoga and listening to new age music like Enya and The Charlie Daniels Band.

Hulk like three things in life.

1) Smashing things
2) Snack cakes
3) Sunshine.

THE LACK OF NUMBER THREE IS MAKING HULK NOT TOO HAPPY.

Hulk have to sit in mansion, listening to stupid Thor talking about stupid Gods stuff. "Thou art most disgusting, Hulk! Thine Twinkie wrappers cover yon floor!" and stupid babble like that. Why stupid God Man talk like that? Makes Hulk want to engage in thing 1.

CLICK HERE. For some reason, this made Iron Man cry a lot this morning. He cried and cried like Hulk did when Hulk petted deer in the woods and it slept.

Hulk tried to play golf the other day with Tony Stark. He kept stopping to drink from his canteen and said that "Ketel One is the pause that refreshes."

He stumbled a bit. By the ninth hole, Hulk beat him by 8 strokes and Hulk never played golf before.

HAHAHAHAHA! This is what happens when Spider-Man interrupts Hulk's root beer time! Thank you, puny human Liam!

Hulk been busy. Hulk volunteered to help neighborhood kids smash bullies. Three are in hospital so far - seven more to go! You hear me, Jeff Dugan? TIME FOR YOUR REIGN OF TERROR ON JFK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TO END!!!!

Hulk like cookies. Hulk doesn't like cookies THIS much, though.

Why they show Hulk doing that to cookies? Black Panther says Hulk is "f&$king cookies." Hulk says he is making love to them.

HULK NOT FOR SALE!!!

Puny Human Mary-Lynn sent image. She can be found on interweb at here.

Man, Hulk wants Sloppy Joes for lunch. Jarvis insisting he eats salad. Stupid Human Jarvis. Bah.

Hulk very sorry to Gary because Hulk did not link to his diaryblog where you can see other pictures Gary drew with his crayons. Click here to look at it.

AND SHUT UP IRON MAN. I DON'T HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU TELL ME. This is Hulk's personal day! That means PANTS OPTIONAL.

Puny Human William has new baby daughter!

SHE IS SO CUTE.


HEY! Wait a minute! Hulk not so sure she's cute now!

OK. HULK IS LOOKING FOR PICTURES OF HULK FOR CONTEST. HULK DOES LIKE PICTURES OF MONKEYS AND KITTENS, THOUGH.

You draw picture or make picture using computer machine!

Hulk asked for pictures for contest. He got this picture.



Hulk not think this qualifies. AND JOHNNY TORCH YOU SENT ME A PICTURE THAT IS NOT AT ALL APPROPRIATE BUT STILL MADE HULK LAUGH. THAT SQUIRREL HAS BIG POTATOES HA HA HA HA!

Johnny sent this picture too. HELLO MONKEY.

KITTEN!
Hulk wants to pet it. Awww.



MONKEY!
Hulk wants it to wipe its monkey face!

Hulk is announcing contest!

Hulk wants to display art from Puny Humans who read site. Image should be small like Mole Man so it can fit where picture of Hulk as baby is now. Hulk thinks that is called 300 pixels by 300 pixels at biggest. Maybe a little taller. Email pictures to Hulk - hulkhatesgammarays@hotmail.com .

Hulk has changed look of diary. Hulk hopes you like it.

Hulk now linked to Human Johnny Storm Torch's diary on right of computer screen. He is now a friend to Hulk!!! He brought over some of the 7-11 nachos Hulk likes and a superdupermegabig gulp full of Dr. Pepper.

HULK'S A PEPPER.

OK SOMEBODY MESSED WITH COMMENT SYSTEM SO HULK HAVE TO TAKE IT DOWN.

Hulk thinks it was Iron Man. Iron Man smells like guy who played Hulk's father in Hulk movie.

Or maybe it was The Leader. Hulk has issues with Leader.

OH LOOK! KITTEN FIGHT! LOOK OUT KITTEN WITHOUT SWORD!!!!

Hulk very proud of puny humans that use his comment system. Hulk worked hard on it. OK, Iron Man worked hard. Rock Man kept kicking Hulk's Playstation.

HELLO JOHNNY FLAME. YOU POSTED! HELLO. Rock Man says "There's a reason Johnny says 'Flame On' and is a permanent bachelor." Hulk not understand that.

AND LEADER, YOU CAN EAT HULK'S SHORTS.

Hulk add comment system with help of Iron Man. If puny humans abuse it, Hulk will SMASH it.

Hulk heard a song a while back.

Doc Bruce Banner / Pelted by gamma rays
Turned into the Hulk / Ain't he unglamorous!
Wreckin' the town / With the power of a bull
Ain't no monster cause / Who is that lovable?
It's ever lovin' Hulk!...HULK!! HULK!!

WHERE IS PUNY BANNER?

HI MONKEY. DANCE FOR HULK!

This disturbs Hulk. A lot.

Note to puny human friends:

A HOT DOG STAND'S CONTENTS DO NOT COUNT AS A "LIGHT SNACK."

Boy, was Iron Man mad when he had to fork over $400 for Hulk's midafternoon treat. He kept saying something about "dipping into Jim Beam's pocket."

Hulk not know who Jim Beam is. Hulk wonders if he is a friend.

Hulk not scared of many things. Hulk is big. Hulk is strong. When Hulk gets MAD, Hulk gets STRONGER.

But Christopher Walken scares the purple pants off Hulk.

SCARY CAT!

HULK IS NOW LINKED ON ABOUT.COM AND THEY SAY HIS DIARY IS FUNNY.

Hulk not sure what to think of this. Hulk doesn't think Hulk's diary is funny. How about Hulk reads about.com's diary and laughs at it?


Dear Diary:
Yahoo doesn't return about.com's phone calls and about.com is sad!!! BOOHOO!
Love, About.com


HA HA HA!! HULK LAUGHS AT YOUR PAIN!!!

HULK HAS FAVORITE SONG.

CANDY GIRL!! CAAANDY GIRL! CANDY GIRL!!! CAAAAAAAAAANDY GIRL!!!

You should see Hulk do dance.

HULK LOVES MONKEYS.






Hi monkeys!!! The monkey drinking a soda is a GOOD MONKEY. HELLO!!

HULK VERY ANGRY WITH THESE PEOPLE AND WANTS TO SMASH.

SOMEONE GET THEIR NAME TO HULK. NOW.

FRIEND DIANA SENT PICTURE!!! CLICK HERE to see it! While Hulk likes Harry Potter books, Hulk still thinks this funny!

Hulk applied aloe on skin but can't tell where because Hulk is already green. Peeling is gross.

NEW LINK FOR OTHER HULKMOBILE. So cool. Hulk may have to talk to Tony Stark about getting raise. Hulk still paying off bathroom repairs, though.

HULK WENT TO THE BEACH.

So, Hulk got a little sunburned. When green skin turns red, Hulk looks unpleasant.

Iron Man is still laughing at Hulk.

Hulk get email from Puny Human named William. Asking Hulk who wins fights. Hulk answered and decided to put on site. William also asked if Hulk ever calms down. HULK IS F*$KING CALM, YOU @$$HOLE. HA HA HA!

Bruce Banner vs. Professor X
HULK WINS.

Hulk vs. Devastator (from transformers)
HULK WINS AGAIN

Captain Crunch vs. Sonny (Cocoa Puffs)
HULK EATS BOTH CEREALS. HULK CAN NOT CHOOSE.

Batman vs. Green Lantern
HULK BECAUSE HE GETS TO WATCH FIGHT.

Mini Ditka vs. Da Bears
HULK NOT SCARED OF BEARS!

Hulk vs. 2 wolverines
People keep on talking about Wolverine like Hulk should be scared of him.
He is a short canadian guy with bad hair! That is like being afraid of Rick
Moranis.

She-Hulk vs. Chelsea Clinton
COUSIN JENNIFER WOULD WIN.

Hulk bored.

And when Hulk bored, Hulk breaks stuff.

Hulk will probably catch hell from Captain America over what happened to the entertainment center. Remember - YOU DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT if he goes to the internet and asks you.

HELLO NEW FRIEND DAN!!!! Thank you for linking to Hulk's page on interweb!

Hulk gets offer from female rock DJ named Stoney in Topeka. Says she wants Hulk to do radio interview. Hulk is mulling this over. Tony Stark said Hulk can't talk to media, but it's in Topeka and not New York and maybe Hulk can do it because Topeka is not New York. Hulk thinking.

Shut up, ROCK MAN. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING ABOUT HULK THINKING.

So, Hulk decided to go record shopping today. Hulk looking at stupid American Idol boy singer Clay and think Hulk could pick teeth with him.

Hulk think Ruben better looking man. He is big like Hulk. Hulk sings "Sweet Home ALabama" and so do Ruben!

Man, it's so hot Hulk had to switch to linen purple pants.

Hulk still can't go to Bodega to get Mountain Dew and that makes Hulk mad. BAH.

People are saying bad things about Hulk movie. Hulk doesn't care. Hulk only cares about people saying bad things about Hulk.

OH YEAH. HELLO NEW FRIEND MAGGIE. Thank you for saying such nice words in email!

WHY THESE PEOPLE THINK HULK CARE? NO HULK NOT ENDORSE YOUR PRODUCT. HULK ONLY ENDORSES SNACK CAKES AND THINGS HULK LIKES.

Hey guys!
I work for a sports nutrition company who has the
official license from Universal Pictures to sell Hulk
products. We were wondering if we could get a link
and/or recommendation from your site to ours in
exchange for some freebies to use as prizes for
running competitioins from your website? Other ideas
welcomed. The audience of your site will no doubt be
interested in our products, so everybody wins.
If this sounds of interest please e-mail back

HA HA HA. HULK SEE THAT ROCK MAN START WEBLOG BUT NEVER GET ANYWHERE.

Ben Grimm, Hulk know you read this! Hulk is making a face at you! HA HA! HULK NOT TOUCHING YOU SO YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING.

Hulk saw Hulk movie. They got some details wrong, but Hulk OK with that, as he was paid enough to buy a sack full of Slim Jims and Twinkies every day for the next two-thousand years. Hulk give it one big green thumbs-up.

Hulk got email Hulk not understand:

HULK'S BACK!
The Bodybuilding Range you've waited for since you
were a kid is finally here! Ripfast Hulk Series. It's
the most powerful supplement range ever developed,
check it out at www.ripfast.co.uk, or call Ripfast
for a free info pack on +44 870 012 5000.
Support the anabolic environment, GO GREEN!

Hulk ALREADY green.

HULK LOVES THIS CAT SO MUCH. HELLO ABBIECAT. HELLO!!!!

OH MY GOD THIS SO COOL.

Thank you, friend of Hulk! (You know that not really me in pictures, but still SO COOL!)

HULK NOT REALLY IN THIS PICTURE.

HULK NOT KNOW THIS LADY.

HULK GETS EMAIL:

Dear Incredible Hulk,
I really like you because people think you're scary and bad but you're really a good person inside. I think you're very cool, and your show is very good. I have a few questions to ask you.

I am really wondering why you turned green instead of all purple because your shorts were purple. And you also don't like to hurt people, and I understand that, because I don't like to, either. I think that you're the best superhero in the universe.

Love from Your Friend,
Angela Peralta, 8 years old, second grade, Bellevue, Washington, USA

Hulk is really glad you asked this question, Angela. Hulk turns green because of exposure to gamma rays and the physiological effect the transformative process has on his individual biomatter. When gamma rays hit khaki, they make the cloth turn purple. Why is that? Well, Hulk is not a big-brained smarty pants like puny Banner or Reed Richards, so Hulk chalk it up to one of life's mysteries. Hulk also chalked up Orrin Hatch's musical career as one of those, too.

HI JENN!!!

If you write Hulk, Hulk will say hi to you on internet, too!

Man, that was a good sandwich Hulk just ate. Pastrami, ham, cappicola, proscuitto, roast beef, turkey, provolone, swiss, meunster, cheddar, american (GOD BLESS USA), and pickles. And some bread. Rock Man said he could eat sandwich faster than Hulk. Hulk just hit him in the face.

EBERT AND ROEPER LIKED MOVIE ABOUT HULK.

This means Hulk not need to smack silly little fat man around while shoving Dots down his throat.

Hulk kind of confused, though - Betty not look like Jennifer Connolly. One time Hulk saw movie with Hawkeye and it had Jennifer Connolly and another woman on all fours doing bad things to each other. Movie was called Request For A Dream or something. Movie scared Hulk really bad. There were needles and people got shocked.

Hulk cried for hours and wet the bed after movie over. Hulk not recommend it if you like good movies without needles and shocking.

Hulk have to tell you, it was really hard for Hulk to go see new Matrix movie. Hulk spent a lot of time hunching at rear of theater and trying to be not noticed.

Then they show movie trailer. Hulk have to leave theater because they all want Hulk's autograph. I bet this not happen to Tom Cruise.

I bet Tom Cruise can just buy a theater to show him a movie. Hulk not have much money, so Hulk not be able to do that.

HEY HULK NOT WRITE THIS.

Hulk sort of mad. Not mad enough to smash, but mad enough to think about smashing seriously.

Hulk discovered something scientific.

Hulk discovered that if Hulk falls off Empire State Building while waving arms vigorously and shouting "SEE, SPIDER-MAN, HULK CAN TOO FLY!!," Hulk's tush hurts for about a week. Hulk can't violate laws of psychics or something.

Man, Hulk think Hulk movie's special effects suck so far.

HULK SENSES MONEY-MAKING OPPORTUNITY!!!

Maybe Hulk can afford own apartment then!

This disturbs Hulk.

And why Hulk always have to be Green Apple candy flavor? Why can Hulk not be Green Strawberry or Green Grape?

Hulk thinking about war and have this to say.

HULK PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN
WHERE AT LEAST HULK KNOWS HE'S FREE
BUT HE DON'T THINK WE SHOULD GO TO WAR
FOR OIL

Hulk think it sums up his thoughts.

Man, Hulk like Jolly Ranchers. You should get Hulk some.

Hulk got email from JustJenn - you should look at her blog - Hulk bets she has a sweet ass.

(HULK DID NOT TYPE THAT. LUKE CAGE CAME BY AND ADDED THAT. HULK IS SURE JENN IS NICE BUT HULK WOULD NOT LOOK AT HER ASS. LUKE CAGE IS A DIRTY MAN!!!!)

It took Hulk two weeks to realize that "dnL" drink and "7up" were the same.

You keep laughing at Hulk. Hulk's reloading, or however that dumb joke go.

OK NOW HULK CAN NOT GO TO BODEGA AROUND THE CORNER FROM MANSION.


Just because Hulk tried to show his wicked good headspin move to the b-boys and broke that window and that other window and that door, Mr. Ruiz says Hulk can not go there to get Mountain Dew Code Red Extreme Jolt Coolerz.


Black Panther say it best. Mr. Ruiz is a motherf*%cker.

Hulk saw Daredevil and thought it sucked.

No, really. It sucked.

Hulk can't get into Grammies. Something about not having chairs big enough. Hulk just want to pinch Pink's butt. Is that so wrong?

Hulk been reading some of these Marvel Comics.

Man, they make Hulk look dumb.

Maybe Hulk have to talk to them sooner than Hulk thought. First movie, then comics with guy called "Leader" who had big brain and a psychologist. Hulk found funny thing on web about stupid scripts:

HULK: BETTY DEAD! HULK SMASH!

DOC SAMSON: What you're feeling is remorse, Bruce. What we need to do is a
complete overhaul of your psyche and inner child. It could take weeks, years
even - but at the end, I think we'll actually make contact with "the beast
within." Oh, and I charge by the hour.

HULK: HIGH PRICED SHRINK! HULK SMASH!


This is what Hulk would do. Stupid Doc Samson and his green hair.

And yes, Hulk miss Betty. She was nice. Stupid dying thing.

Hulk was sad; hands too big to play with LEGO.

Wasp gave him DUPLO. That much better.

Hulk heard rumor you can see big movie trailer with footage of fake Hulk during Super Bowl. Hulk may have to go to where Super Bowl is being played to show everyone HOW REAL HULK DOES THINGS.

OK, Hawkeye needs to knock off listening to Wu-Tang Clan. Hulk know they ain't nothing to f*ck with, but they keep persisting. Maybe Hulk will f*ck with them soon. All except ODB. Hulk knows even he too crazy for you to f*ck with.

OK VERY FUNNY JARVIS YOU GIVE ME MEAT PIE AND SAY I WILL LIKE IT.

WHAT IS THIS, A BLADDER?

MAN, HULK GROSSED OUT.

Hulk go to toy store today.

They have Hulk toys. Hulk buy one.

This blow Hulk's mind.

Of course, Lite-Brite blew Hulk's mind once.

Hulk have decent New Year's. It didn't rock as hard as Hulk would have liked, though. No Dick Clark!