NO, BAD GUYS!
HULK WILL NOT GIVE YOU HULK'S ADDRESS.
This means you, stupid Absorbing Man and Leader! Go bother someone else!
Sunday, December 26, 2004
Monday, December 20, 2004
Hulk had to "ban" someone from writing in comments on Internet Diary. Hulk doesn't care if you make fun of Hulk because Hulk's skin is thick like skin on a tank if a tank had skin! Hulk laughs at Puny Humans who want to hurt Hulk's feelings. You are not Kittens or Monkeys or Betty so can not hurt Hulk or make Hulk smile or laugh or cry. BUT WHEN YOU INSULT PEOPLE IN HULK'S DIARY WHO ARE NOT HULK THEN THAT MAKES HULK MAD and when HULK GETS MAD Hulk wants to SMAzZSddskkk.. 22 ahhehaif øøø ®†...??uœ2ƒ8©
Hulk had to go to Staples and get new keyboard. If you hear about Hulk turning over that Hot Dog Cart it wasn't Hulk. It was somebody else! Honest! And if you heard about a GIANT GREEN HANDSOME GUY eating a bunch of Hot Dogs that wasn't Hulk, either.
Hulk is done packing and will be moving to studio in "The Village" soon. Hulk hopes it is not like the village in that movie called THE VILLAGE because that was scary, that village.
Hulk had to go to Staples and get new keyboard. If you hear about Hulk turning over that Hot Dog Cart it wasn't Hulk. It was somebody else! Honest! And if you heard about a GIANT GREEN HANDSOME GUY eating a bunch of Hot Dogs that wasn't Hulk, either.
Hulk is done packing and will be moving to studio in "The Village" soon. Hulk hopes it is not like the village in that movie called THE VILLAGE because that was scary, that village.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Friday, December 03, 2004
THANK YOU SCOTTO FOR PUTTING PICTURES OF MONKEYS ON THE INTERNET!!!
This monkey has a soda that is red but is not Red Bull Superdrink! This is another kind of soda! Red Bull is not very red anyway...it reminds Hulk of something Hulk can't talk about in internet diary.
There is a meeting today at the mansion about Hulk. Hulk is sort of worried. Hulk has heard something about "eviction."
IS THIS LIKE THAT STUPID COMIC BOOK STORY WHERE PURPLE HAWKEYE ARROW DIED??? AVENGERS: EVICTION???
This monkey has a soda that is red but is not Red Bull Superdrink! This is another kind of soda! Red Bull is not very red anyway...it reminds Hulk of something Hulk can't talk about in internet diary.
There is a meeting today at the mansion about Hulk. Hulk is sort of worried. Hulk has heard something about "eviction."
IS THIS LIKE THAT STUPID COMIC BOOK STORY WHERE PURPLE HAWKEYE ARROW DIED??? AVENGERS: EVICTION???
Friday, November 26, 2004
OH NO IT WENT VERY BADLY AT AVENGERS MANSION AT THANKSGIVING
Hulk does not know where to start! OK Hulk knows! Hulk can start with good stuff!!
Jarvis cooked that turkey so good! It was tasty and if Ant Man hadn't rushed Iron Man when Iron Man was "Staring at that sweatermeat" that Wasp had (HULK NOT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!), it would have stayed tasty instead of falling on ground!
Thor got all mad over fight because they spilled his potatoes too and then Blue Captain America Man tried to stop fight and when he stepped on table to make the kick in their jaws, the TABLE FELL OVER and EVEN THE PIE FELL OFF.
Oh, Hulk is so sad about that pie. It looked good.
Hulk does not know where to start! OK Hulk knows! Hulk can start with good stuff!!
Jarvis cooked that turkey so good! It was tasty and if Ant Man hadn't rushed Iron Man when Iron Man was "Staring at that sweatermeat" that Wasp had (HULK NOT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!), it would have stayed tasty instead of falling on ground!
Thor got all mad over fight because they spilled his potatoes too and then Blue Captain America Man tried to stop fight and when he stepped on table to make the kick in their jaws, the TABLE FELL OVER and EVEN THE PIE FELL OFF.
Oh, Hulk is so sad about that pie. It looked good.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
OH BOY THANKSGIVING IS COMING OH BOY OH BOY
Hulk doesn't care for many holidays. Christmas has stupid puny music. Hulk never has a Valentine. President's day is stupid because you can't be president for the day.
BUT HULK CAN GET BEHIND THANKSGIVING!!!
Jarvis is going to FRY A TURKEY! Thor said he would bring mashed potatoes and Iron Man said he would bring SPECIAL DRINK and Ant Man said he would make Wasp whip up a pie! CAPTAIN AMERICAN FLAG MAN IS BRINGING GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE OH IT IS HULK'S FAVORITE BECAUSE IT IS GREEN AND TASTY LIKE HULK.
Cousin Jennifer is coming by and we are going to watch FOOTBALL which is pretty OK because they smash stuff.
OK Hulk has to go to smash stupid Absorbing Man, who is outside of mansion making a racket!!
Hulk doesn't care for many holidays. Christmas has stupid puny music. Hulk never has a Valentine. President's day is stupid because you can't be president for the day.
BUT HULK CAN GET BEHIND THANKSGIVING!!!
Jarvis is going to FRY A TURKEY! Thor said he would bring mashed potatoes and Iron Man said he would bring SPECIAL DRINK and Ant Man said he would make Wasp whip up a pie! CAPTAIN AMERICAN FLAG MAN IS BRINGING GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE OH IT IS HULK'S FAVORITE BECAUSE IT IS GREEN AND TASTY LIKE HULK.
Cousin Jennifer is coming by and we are going to watch FOOTBALL which is pretty OK because they smash stuff.
OK Hulk has to go to smash stupid Absorbing Man, who is outside of mansion making a racket!!
Saturday, November 20, 2004
What Hulk did this week, by Hulk:
Hulk had a lot of leftover Halloween candy and then Hulk had to go to hospital because Hulk's tummy didn't like that at all, no sir.
Hulk broke Nintendo game machine because of stupid X-Men game with stupid stinking Wolverine-man and stupid eye-ball laser man. Stupid game.
Hulk cleaned bathroom.
Hulk watched Teen Titans cartoon and new Puffy AmiYumi cartoon and even Thor with his pretty pretty hair didn't bother him.
Hulk saved world from evil Galactus-man and stupid plot to eat it again. Hulk thinks Galactus-man needs to talk to "Weight Watchers" about his problem! HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Hulk had a lot of leftover Halloween candy and then Hulk had to go to hospital because Hulk's tummy didn't like that at all, no sir.
Hulk broke Nintendo game machine because of stupid X-Men game with stupid stinking Wolverine-man and stupid eye-ball laser man. Stupid game.
Hulk cleaned bathroom.
Hulk watched Teen Titans cartoon and new Puffy AmiYumi cartoon and even Thor with his pretty pretty hair didn't bother him.
Hulk saved world from evil Galactus-man and stupid plot to eat it again. Hulk thinks Galactus-man needs to talk to "Weight Watchers" about his problem! HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Monday, November 15, 2004
PUNY HUMAN BRENDAN ASKS QUESTION PEOPLE ASK HULK A LOT:
Do you have an hulk-sized keyboard that you use? If not, how do you type with your enormous fingers?
Hulk uses CAPS LOCK key to make BIG LETTERS and uses his pinky and a pencil. Writing in special internet takes a long time and Hulk has no patience for people who want Hulk to hurry up and write more.
Hulk used to dictate to Puny Humans he lived with before moving into Mansion. Hulk tried to dictate to Captain American Flag Man and he told Hulk to slow down so Hulk asked Jarvis and Jarvis said he wasn't Hulk's secretary. Hulk then asked Iron Man if he could have a secretary and Iron Man just laughed and said that Hulk doesn't need a secretary and Hulk could sort his own Pokemon cards.
Hulk is going to smash you, Iron Man. Just you wait until Tony Stark is gone somewhere.
Do you have an hulk-sized keyboard that you use? If not, how do you type with your enormous fingers?
Hulk uses CAPS LOCK key to make BIG LETTERS and uses his pinky and a pencil. Writing in special internet takes a long time and Hulk has no patience for people who want Hulk to hurry up and write more.
Hulk used to dictate to Puny Humans he lived with before moving into Mansion. Hulk tried to dictate to Captain American Flag Man and he told Hulk to slow down so Hulk asked Jarvis and Jarvis said he wasn't Hulk's secretary. Hulk then asked Iron Man if he could have a secretary and Iron Man just laughed and said that Hulk doesn't need a secretary and Hulk could sort his own Pokemon cards.
Hulk is going to smash you, Iron Man. Just you wait until Tony Stark is gone somewhere.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Hulk saw show on TV about big gorilla that had a kitten! OH HULK WANTS A KITTY CAT SO BADLY. Hulk saw kitten yesterday and it sat in palm of hand and went "Meow!" Did you read about that???
HULK WOULD LIKE A KITTEN LIKE THIS PLEASE!! PLEASE! Please write to Avengers Mansion and say HULK NEEDS A KITTEN AND HE WILL CLEAN OUT THE POOP BOX AND WALK IT AND EVERYTHING. It won't be like the Pony! Or Rick Jones! HULK PROMISES.
HULK WOULD LIKE A KITTEN LIKE THIS PLEASE!! PLEASE! Please write to Avengers Mansion and say HULK NEEDS A KITTEN AND HE WILL CLEAN OUT THE POOP BOX AND WALK IT AND EVERYTHING. It won't be like the Pony! Or Rick Jones! HULK PROMISES.
Monday, November 08, 2004
OH NO! HULK HAVE A BIG PROBLEM WITH SOME PEOPLE READING HIS DIARY.
THERE IS ONE INTERNET PERSON WHO HAS A DIARY ON THE INTERNET THAT YOU CAN VISIT BY GOING TO THIS PLACE ON THE INTERNET.
HE HAS USED IMAGES THAT ARE HOSTED BY HULK'S PUNY HUMAN FRIENDS. Hulk's puny human friends work hard to make sure that Hulk is able to do diary! WHEN YOU POST HULK'S IMAGES YOU MAKE HULK ANGRY.
And you all know what happens when HULK IS ANGRY. Just ask JUGGERNAUT or LEADER or WONDER MAN.
UPDATE: HULK MADE INTERNET PERSON'S INTERNET DIARY BETTER NOW!!! HA HA HA HA!!!
EVEN MORE UPDATER!: INTERNET PERSON MADE COPY OF WORD SEARCH FILE AND PUT IT ON THEIR INTERNET SITE AND DELETED HULK'S COMMENTS!! Hulk starting to get - what is word - ANGRY!!! IF YOU STEAL IMAGES FROM HULK'S INTERNET DIARY YOU ARE GOING TO SEE THIS:
SO DO NOT STEAL IMAGES FROM HULK. Hulk also tell puny human Willowpost person that his internet diary is not much of a diary! IF HULK CAN WRITE ON INTERNET, YOU CAN WRITE ON INTERNET!!!
PS> Hulk petted a kitten today and it was very nice. It went "Meow" and then Hulk had to give it back because Iron Man reminded Hulk about what happened with pony they got Hulk.
THERE IS ONE INTERNET PERSON WHO HAS A DIARY ON THE INTERNET THAT YOU CAN VISIT BY GOING TO THIS PLACE ON THE INTERNET.
HE HAS USED IMAGES THAT ARE HOSTED BY HULK'S PUNY HUMAN FRIENDS. Hulk's puny human friends work hard to make sure that Hulk is able to do diary! WHEN YOU POST HULK'S IMAGES YOU MAKE HULK ANGRY.
And you all know what happens when HULK IS ANGRY. Just ask JUGGERNAUT or LEADER or WONDER MAN.
UPDATE: HULK MADE INTERNET PERSON'S INTERNET DIARY BETTER NOW!!! HA HA HA HA!!!
EVEN MORE UPDATER!: INTERNET PERSON MADE COPY OF WORD SEARCH FILE AND PUT IT ON THEIR INTERNET SITE AND DELETED HULK'S COMMENTS!! Hulk starting to get - what is word - ANGRY!!! IF YOU STEAL IMAGES FROM HULK'S INTERNET DIARY YOU ARE GOING TO SEE THIS:
SO DO NOT STEAL IMAGES FROM HULK. Hulk also tell puny human Willowpost person that his internet diary is not much of a diary! IF HULK CAN WRITE ON INTERNET, YOU CAN WRITE ON INTERNET!!!
PS> Hulk petted a kitten today and it was very nice. It went "Meow" and then Hulk had to give it back because Iron Man reminded Hulk about what happened with pony they got Hulk.
OK OK OK.
HULK GETS IT.
HULK GETS IT, IRON MAN AND CAPTAIN AMERICA AND THOR AND ANT MAN AND WASP AND STUPID JARVIS
Hulk still doesn't think he should have to write "Hulk is sorry Hulk made a thin red paste out of stupid puny human 'mayor' during stupid ceremony!" a thousand times.
Hulk does not even know how many a thousand is!
HULK GETS IT.
HULK GETS IT, IRON MAN AND CAPTAIN AMERICA AND THOR AND ANT MAN AND WASP AND STUPID JARVIS
Hulk still doesn't think he should have to write "Hulk is sorry Hulk made a thin red paste out of stupid puny human 'mayor' during stupid ceremony!" a thousand times.
Hulk does not even know how many a thousand is!
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Monday, November 01, 2004
HULK IS TELLING YOU TO LISTEN UP, PUNY HUMANS
Tomorrow you have to vote for Man-Thing or Monkey Leader.
If puny human readers of diary do not vote, they are making stupid mistake!
CAPTAIN AMERICAN FLAG-MAN SAYS IT IS YOUR DUTY. Hulk thought Hulk's duty was to dry dishes today.
USE YOUR RIGHT TO VOTE. HULK HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR PUNY HUMANS WHO DO NOT VOTE AND THEN WHINE ABOUT STUPID MONKEY MAKING STUPID DECISIONS OR TREE-MAN HUGGING HIPPIE BABIES.
Tomorrow you have to vote for Man-Thing or Monkey Leader.
If puny human readers of diary do not vote, they are making stupid mistake!
CAPTAIN AMERICAN FLAG-MAN SAYS IT IS YOUR DUTY. Hulk thought Hulk's duty was to dry dishes today.
USE YOUR RIGHT TO VOTE. HULK HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR PUNY HUMANS WHO DO NOT VOTE AND THEN WHINE ABOUT STUPID MONKEY MAKING STUPID DECISIONS OR TREE-MAN HUGGING HIPPIE BABIES.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Monday, October 11, 2004
Hulk makes note to self:
Stop drinking coffee and magical Red Bull superdrink before eight at night if Hulk wants to go to bed before informercials start. When informercials start, Hulk gets in trouble because he uses Avengers Credit Card.
Hulk really likes his George Foreman Grill, though. It makes a good grilled-cheese sandwich. Captain America uses that Bowflex machine Hulk got! Jarvis likes his Scunci steamer! EVEN HAWKEYE THOUGHT THAT ORECK AIR CLEANER THING HELPED GET RID OF IRON MAN'S CIGAR SMOKE!
Hulk has to go watch TV now and see what else can help make life at the Mansion better!!
Stop drinking coffee and magical Red Bull superdrink before eight at night if Hulk wants to go to bed before informercials start. When informercials start, Hulk gets in trouble because he uses Avengers Credit Card.
Hulk really likes his George Foreman Grill, though. It makes a good grilled-cheese sandwich. Captain America uses that Bowflex machine Hulk got! Jarvis likes his Scunci steamer! EVEN HAWKEYE THOUGHT THAT ORECK AIR CLEANER THING HELPED GET RID OF IRON MAN'S CIGAR SMOKE!
Hulk has to go watch TV now and see what else can help make life at the Mansion better!!
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
HULK IS NOW OFFICIALLY TIRED OF INTERNET.
Hulk gets email from Wonder Man. Wonder Man's email says "Hulk, look at this internet site where they sell FETAL HULK."
Words fail Hulk.
PS> Hulk only had to pay small stupid fees for smashing without permit in court-house last week. Cousin Jennifer got him a chili dog.
Hulk gets email from Wonder Man. Wonder Man's email says "Hulk, look at this internet site where they sell FETAL HULK."
Words fail Hulk.
PS> Hulk only had to pay small stupid fees for smashing without permit in court-house last week. Cousin Jennifer got him a chili dog.
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
OH HELLO THERE.
Hulk is sorry he hasn't written to you, diary. Hulk has been busy watching STARTING OVER show. That show is very good because it's about women who have to get their lives smashed up and then they go to live in a big house and they do things and then they get better! That's something Hulk can support! AND THERE IS A CUTE BABY THERE WITH HER MOM.
HELLO BABY.
Hulk thinks Iron Man needs to go to STARTING OVER HOUSE because he is a girl sometimes and he cries into his Martini a lot! HA HA HA.
Hulk has to go - Cousin Jennifer is taking him to "Court House" today to talk to judge. Hulk doesn't know what he wants to talk about and Hulk isn't sure Hulk cares.
Hulk is sorry he hasn't written to you, diary. Hulk has been busy watching STARTING OVER show. That show is very good because it's about women who have to get their lives smashed up and then they go to live in a big house and they do things and then they get better! That's something Hulk can support! AND THERE IS A CUTE BABY THERE WITH HER MOM.
HELLO BABY.
Hulk thinks Iron Man needs to go to STARTING OVER HOUSE because he is a girl sometimes and he cries into his Martini a lot! HA HA HA.
Hulk has to go - Cousin Jennifer is taking him to "Court House" today to talk to judge. Hulk doesn't know what he wants to talk about and Hulk isn't sure Hulk cares.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Hulk was sitting at coffee shop drinking bucket of coffee (THANK YOU MISTER LOPEZ FOR LETTING HULK HAVE BUCKET!) when puny human policeman walks up to Hulk!
"Hulk, you have to come with me because you are under arrest! Some things got smashed real bad this morning and we think you did it because it was a big green person who did the smashing!"
"OH NO HULK DID NOT DO THAT THING WHERE THE THINGS GOT SMASHED! HONEST!" Is what Hulk said. "Hulk has been at coffee shop sitting in booth with Highlights For Children and coloring book all morning!"
Mr Lopez agreed with Hulk - that is because he knows that if he said Hulk had been doing smashing - WHICH HULK DID NOT DO - he would not be at the coffee shop.
Hulk gets back to mansion and finds DUPLICATE FAKE HULK PLAYING ON HULK'S GAMEBOY AND EATING HULK'S PRINGLES and there was a big fight. Hulk smashed him up and learned from Captain America that he was a Skrull, whatever that means. All Hulk knows is that Hulk has had about six bad checks come back that DUPLICATE HULK wrote for stupid things at electronics stores. BAH.
"Hulk, you have to come with me because you are under arrest! Some things got smashed real bad this morning and we think you did it because it was a big green person who did the smashing!"
"OH NO HULK DID NOT DO THAT THING WHERE THE THINGS GOT SMASHED! HONEST!" Is what Hulk said. "Hulk has been at coffee shop sitting in booth with Highlights For Children and coloring book all morning!"
Mr Lopez agreed with Hulk - that is because he knows that if he said Hulk had been doing smashing - WHICH HULK DID NOT DO - he would not be at the coffee shop.
Hulk gets back to mansion and finds DUPLICATE FAKE HULK PLAYING ON HULK'S GAMEBOY AND EATING HULK'S PRINGLES and there was a big fight. Hulk smashed him up and learned from Captain America that he was a Skrull, whatever that means. All Hulk knows is that Hulk has had about six bad checks come back that DUPLICATE HULK wrote for stupid things at electronics stores. BAH.
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Saturday, September 04, 2004
Hulk have a little headache still from last night. Man, that club played music EXTRA LOUD and Hulk would try to dance but kept making the record players jump, so Hulk ended up "rolling like a pimp" in the VIP room and drinking fancy fizzy drink. That is where Hulk saw Andy Dick. Hawkeye said his last name was appropriate, but Hulk doesn't know what that means. Cousin Jennifer punched some guy, but Hulk knows he was getting fresh, so that's OK. People were nice to Hulk, really. Maybe Hulk become a person on Page Six of that paper that's not the Daily Bugle.
Here is a comic book about Hulk's last days that some puny humans made! It is written by EXCELLENT PUNY HUMAN PETER DAVID, who Hulk liked writing his comic a lot. Maybe you can bid on it so you can have your own copy!
Here is a comic book about Hulk's last days that some puny humans made! It is written by EXCELLENT PUNY HUMAN PETER DAVID, who Hulk liked writing his comic a lot. Maybe you can bid on it so you can have your own copy!
Friday, September 03, 2004
Hulk swears, Hulk gets kicked out of more All Hulk Can Eat buffets than Hulk feels is fair. DO NOT PUT SIGN SAYING ALL HULK CAN EAT IF YOU DO NOT STOCK YOUR KITCHEN, OK? Yes, this means YOU MISTER CHINESE MAN WHO RUNS NOODLE HOUSE.
Hulk may go to club tonight. Hawkeye said Cousin Jennifer was going to be in town and maybe they hang out. Hulk just hope he can get new pants before time to go out.
Hulk may go to club tonight. Hawkeye said Cousin Jennifer was going to be in town and maybe they hang out. Hulk just hope he can get new pants before time to go out.
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Hulk thinks stupid big party can stop now and go home. Hulk saw part of it on TV box and SAW GOVERNOR CONAN BUT HE "SOLD OUT" AND CUT HIS HAIR! Hulk very upset at this because if HULK can go green and stay green SO CAN GOVERNOR CONAN! He didn't even have a sword or anything.
Then Hulk saw President's daughters and they made some jokes Hulk didn't get and then President's wife came on and she looked like she was a ROBOT LIKE ULTRON OH NO HULK HAS FOUND OUT PLOT AND HAS TO GO WARN OTHER AVENGERS OK BYE!!!!
Then Hulk saw President's daughters and they made some jokes Hulk didn't get and then President's wife came on and she looked like she was a ROBOT LIKE ULTRON OH NO HULK HAS FOUND OUT PLOT AND HAS TO GO WARN OTHER AVENGERS OK BYE!!!!
Monday, August 30, 2004
WOW there are a lot of people in New York City and they seem like they are having a party because they have banners and they chant and sing!
Hulk hopes they invite Hulk. Hulk has a really good bean dip recipe!
Somebody wrote Hulk and said that there was not a lot of talk about smashing in Hulk's Diary and that Hulk has gone soft.
If Hulk talked about all the smashing he did, puny humans would whine "OH HULK ALL YOU TALK ABOUT IS SMASHING!" because HULK SMASHES A LOT OF THINGS.
Here is a list of things Hulk smashed this weekend:
6 EMPTY CANS OF RED BULL SUPERDRINK THAT MAKES HULK FAST AND SMART!!! (Hulk smashed one more Can that was full - Thor looked funny with superdrink in his long blond hair! HE HAS HAIR LIKE FARRAH FAWCETT HA HA HA!!!)
1 Buick car that was honking at Hulk when Hulk was carrying cans of RED BULL SUPERDRINK home.
A whole bunch of stupid Army men who were like "HEY HULK YOU ARE A MENACE NOW GET IN THIS TRUCK SO WE CAN TAKE YOU TO DESERT!" and Hulk was like "NO!" and the stupid Army men were like "UH HUH! WE HAVE A "HULK BUSTER" TANK AND IT WILL SHOOT YOU." Hulk then smashed them and their puny "Hulk Buster" tank.
Hulk didn't smash Iron Man, but really thought about it.
THERE. NOW YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITH HULK AND THE SMASHING.
Hulk hopes they invite Hulk. Hulk has a really good bean dip recipe!
Somebody wrote Hulk and said that there was not a lot of talk about smashing in Hulk's Diary and that Hulk has gone soft.
If Hulk talked about all the smashing he did, puny humans would whine "OH HULK ALL YOU TALK ABOUT IS SMASHING!" because HULK SMASHES A LOT OF THINGS.
Here is a list of things Hulk smashed this weekend:
6 EMPTY CANS OF RED BULL SUPERDRINK THAT MAKES HULK FAST AND SMART!!! (Hulk smashed one more Can that was full - Thor looked funny with superdrink in his long blond hair! HE HAS HAIR LIKE FARRAH FAWCETT HA HA HA!!!)
1 Buick car that was honking at Hulk when Hulk was carrying cans of RED BULL SUPERDRINK home.
A whole bunch of stupid Army men who were like "HEY HULK YOU ARE A MENACE NOW GET IN THIS TRUCK SO WE CAN TAKE YOU TO DESERT!" and Hulk was like "NO!" and the stupid Army men were like "UH HUH! WE HAVE A "HULK BUSTER" TANK AND IT WILL SHOOT YOU." Hulk then smashed them and their puny "Hulk Buster" tank.
Hulk didn't smash Iron Man, but really thought about it.
THERE. NOW YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITH HULK AND THE SMASHING.
Sunday, August 29, 2004
PUNY HUMAN KEVIN HAS A POLL THAT YOU SHOULD TAKE.
OK HULK SAID IT. LET HULK PLAY WITH VIEWMASTER NOW.
Oh no! Scooby Doo better look out behind that tree - THERE'S A GHOST THERE! OH NO! Hulk hopes Fred and Daphne come along and save the day!
OK HULK SAID IT. LET HULK PLAY WITH VIEWMASTER NOW.
Oh no! Scooby Doo better look out behind that tree - THERE'S A GHOST THERE! OH NO! Hulk hopes Fred and Daphne come along and save the day!
Friday, August 27, 2004
Hulk put comments back. Hulk can take them away like they are candy and you are puny babies. PLAY NICE OR HULK TURN THE INTERNET AROUND AND DRIVE YOU HOME.
HA HA HA HA HA.
Hulk needs a new game for Hulk's Game Boy. Maybe Hulk get Hulk game for Game Boy. It would be nice to smash stuff and not hear Captain America telling Hulk to "Knock it off."
HA HA HA HA HA.
Hulk needs a new game for Hulk's Game Boy. Maybe Hulk get Hulk game for Game Boy. It would be nice to smash stuff and not hear Captain America telling Hulk to "Knock it off."
Thursday, August 26, 2004
DEAR PEOPLE WHO MAKE HULK COMIC BOOKS:
Hi, this is Hulk. Next time you make a comic book where Hulk fights Iron Man, please make sure to put words next to Hulk and Iron Man. Hulk has suggestion for this one.
Hulk: YOU ARE MEAN TO ME IRON MAN WHY DID YOU EAT MY ORANGE SLICES CANDY? YOU KNOW HOW HULK LIKES ORANGE SLICES CANDY!!
Iron Man: I AM SORRY HULK YOU ARE RIGHT!! LET'S GO GET PIE!
Please pay attention to Hulk's suggestion. That would make a better comic.
Bye,
Hulk
Hi, this is Hulk. Next time you make a comic book where Hulk fights Iron Man, please make sure to put words next to Hulk and Iron Man. Hulk has suggestion for this one.
Hulk: YOU ARE MEAN TO ME IRON MAN WHY DID YOU EAT MY ORANGE SLICES CANDY? YOU KNOW HOW HULK LIKES ORANGE SLICES CANDY!!
Iron Man: I AM SORRY HULK YOU ARE RIGHT!! LET'S GO GET PIE!
Please pay attention to Hulk's suggestion. That would make a better comic.
Bye,
Hulk
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Puny "Green Arrow" has internet diary you can read! Hawkeye says he is a cheap imitator. Thor-man said green was less "Gay" than purple.
Hulk think green looks pretty happy.
Hulk have to go - pizza is here!
Hulk think green looks pretty happy.
Hulk have to go - pizza is here!
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Sunday, August 15, 2004
Hulk's been very very busy over the last week. Hulk now gives you a list of what Hulk has done.
Hulk read an Archie Double Digest and Hulk wonders why Reggie just doesn't smash Archie and take over book.
Hulk ate sixteen burgers at Wendy's. Manager says you only get one burger for "shift meal" but Hulk said his appetite was too big from having to restrain from smashing customers and stupid puny human manager better back off or Hulk didn't know what Hulk would do.
Hulk smashed aliens who came to New York and wanted to take over with stupid ray-guns and puny tin-foil spaceships. Iron Man said Hulk earned his Avengers paycheck that day.
Hulk found out he has a paycheck from the Avengers and quit at Wendy's. Hulk smashed Frosty machine on way out.
Hulk read an Archie Double Digest and Hulk wonders why Reggie just doesn't smash Archie and take over book.
Hulk ate sixteen burgers at Wendy's. Manager says you only get one burger for "shift meal" but Hulk said his appetite was too big from having to restrain from smashing customers and stupid puny human manager better back off or Hulk didn't know what Hulk would do.
Hulk smashed aliens who came to New York and wanted to take over with stupid ray-guns and puny tin-foil spaceships. Iron Man said Hulk earned his Avengers paycheck that day.
Hulk found out he has a paycheck from the Avengers and quit at Wendy's. Hulk smashed Frosty machine on way out.
Thursday, August 05, 2004
Monday, August 02, 2004
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
HULK TOOK AWAY COMMENTS. (OK, so IRON MAN took away comments and Hulk played Mario Golf!)
NOW STUPID FAKE PEOPLE CAN FIND OTHER PLACES TO ARGUE.
Hulk applied at Wendy's, but not Wendy's Hulk worked at before so Hulk hopes they not figure out Hulk is guy who deep-fried puny human manager with pimples. Hulk got free meal when applying. It was pretty OK.
NOW STUPID FAKE PEOPLE CAN FIND OTHER PLACES TO ARGUE.
Hulk applied at Wendy's, but not Wendy's Hulk worked at before so Hulk hopes they not figure out Hulk is guy who deep-fried puny human manager with pimples. Hulk got free meal when applying. It was pretty OK.
Sunday, July 25, 2004
HULK HAVE ANNOUNCEMENTS FOR PUNY HUMANS
Puny Human Kevin is selling stuff on internet site eBay to help pay for "renovations" on part of house that Hulk made more Hulk-friendly by making DOOR BIGGER. Maybe you find something you want to buy. Hulk not care.
Hulk also have to say that Hulk will have Iron Man help him remove comments from diary if puny humans do not stop acting like they are people they are not! THIS MEANS YOU, FAKE JOHN KERRY AND FAKE MONKEY PRESIDENT AND FAKE STAN LEE AND FAKE BILL BIXBY AND FAKE OTHER PEOPLE.
Hulk also want to say that maybe he ate too much fudge at candy job and doesn't have candy job anymore and has to look at Sunday paper's Help Wanted section.
Hulk can hear you laughing. Hulk telling you to shut up.
Puny Human Kevin is selling stuff on internet site eBay to help pay for "renovations" on part of house that Hulk made more Hulk-friendly by making DOOR BIGGER. Maybe you find something you want to buy. Hulk not care.
Hulk also have to say that Hulk will have Iron Man help him remove comments from diary if puny humans do not stop acting like they are people they are not! THIS MEANS YOU, FAKE JOHN KERRY AND FAKE MONKEY PRESIDENT AND FAKE STAN LEE AND FAKE BILL BIXBY AND FAKE OTHER PEOPLE.
Hulk also want to say that maybe he ate too much fudge at candy job and doesn't have candy job anymore and has to look at Sunday paper's Help Wanted section.
Hulk can hear you laughing. Hulk telling you to shut up.
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Saturday, July 17, 2004
Friday, July 16, 2004
Thursday, July 15, 2004
HULK GOT EMAIL FROM BUG MAN!
Hulk,
This is Spiderman... I want my deepfryer back. If you could please mail it to a little old woman in manhattan named May Parker who has nothing at all to do with me it would be nice. Don't forget the Labour Day party at Iron Fist's place. See you there.
Your pal,
Spidey
Hulk take exception to this for two reasons! BUG-MAN GAVE HULK DEEP FRYER AS PRESENT. Other Bug-Man, ANT-MAN, was there and saw it and he knows the truth and HULK WILL HAVE HIM EMAIL stupid Bug-Spider-Man to tell him WHO IS RIGHT.
SECOND: HULK IS NOT YOUR PAL, BUG-SPIDER-MAN.
ONTO OTHER MATTERS (Hulk learned this phrase from Tony Stark during long boring talky meetings at Avengers Mansion): HULK DID NOT WRITE THIS AND MAY GO TO ONION OFFICES TO SMASH.
HELLO people from website BOINGBOING who followed links! HELLO!
Hulk,
This is Spiderman... I want my deepfryer back. If you could please mail it to a little old woman in manhattan named May Parker who has nothing at all to do with me it would be nice. Don't forget the Labour Day party at Iron Fist's place. See you there.
Your pal,
Spidey
Hulk take exception to this for two reasons! BUG-MAN GAVE HULK DEEP FRYER AS PRESENT. Other Bug-Man, ANT-MAN, was there and saw it and he knows the truth and HULK WILL HAVE HIM EMAIL stupid Bug-Spider-Man to tell him WHO IS RIGHT.
SECOND: HULK IS NOT YOUR PAL, BUG-SPIDER-MAN.
ONTO OTHER MATTERS (Hulk learned this phrase from Tony Stark during long boring talky meetings at Avengers Mansion): HULK DID NOT WRITE THIS AND MAY GO TO ONION OFFICES TO SMASH.
HELLO people from website BOINGBOING who followed links! HELLO!
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Sunday, July 04, 2004
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Why Hulk Likes The Food Court, By Hulk:
1. Hulk can get any kind of food Hulk wants! It is like travelling whole world when only making a few steps!
2. FREE SAMPLES. Sometimes puny humans at Chinese Panda place say "ONLY ONE!" but then Hulk says he could smash whole place up and they hand Hulk tray. Hulk not like threatening nice Chinese Panda people but they need to make free samples bigger!
C. ORANGE JULIUS. OH, HULK LOVES ORANGE JULIUS. THEY HAVE HOT DOGS AND ORANGE DRINK. OH IT IS GOOD HAVE YOU HAD IT??!?!?!?
4. ARCADE is right next to it! Hulk can play games like SMASH A MOLE. They always have new machines every time Hulk comes by, though. Hulk wonder why.
1. Hulk can get any kind of food Hulk wants! It is like travelling whole world when only making a few steps!
2. FREE SAMPLES. Sometimes puny humans at Chinese Panda place say "ONLY ONE!" but then Hulk says he could smash whole place up and they hand Hulk tray. Hulk not like threatening nice Chinese Panda people but they need to make free samples bigger!
C. ORANGE JULIUS. OH, HULK LOVES ORANGE JULIUS. THEY HAVE HOT DOGS AND ORANGE DRINK. OH IT IS GOOD HAVE YOU HAD IT??!?!?!?
4. ARCADE is right next to it! Hulk can play games like SMASH A MOLE. They always have new machines every time Hulk comes by, though. Hulk wonder why.
Monday, June 21, 2004
HELLO, HULK HERE. You may know Hulk from comic books with THE AVENGERS and HIS OWN COMIC that sold many many copies and made HULK FAMOUS and then there was TV SERIES, but it was dull and NO HULK WILL NOT READ THIS ANYMORE.
PUNY HUMAN KEVIN HAVE ANNOUNCEMENT THAT HE IS MAKING HULK SAY OR HE WILL PUT HULK'S MY LITTLE PONY COLLECTION IN ONLINE SITE EBAY WHERE YOU CAN BUY HULK'S STUFF THAT HULK LEFT AT KEVIN'S PLACE NO PLEASE DO NOT SELL IT.
CLICK HERE for Puny Human Auctions and see comics and stuff that Puny Human Kevin is selling. IF YOU BUY HIS STUFF HE WILL NOT SELL HULK'S STUFF TO PAY FOR HIS HABITS. PUT MY LITE BRITE AWAY IT IS HULK'S IT IS NOT YOURS!!!! Hulk thinks THIS COMIC is the best!!! There are comics with OTHER PEOPLE NOT HULK that Puny Human is selling and you should NOT BUY THOSE, OK? NO WAIT. YOU CAN BUY THOSE. PUT IT DOWN, PUNY HUMAN KEVIN!!!!
If you buy book with HULK SMASHING ON COVER and you want, HULK WILL AUTOGRAPH IT. FREE. YOU JUST SAY YOU WANT IT AUTOGRAPHED. Hulk did not write or draw puny comic but WILL MARK ON IT FOR YOU ANYWAY.
NOW CAN HULK HAVE HULK'S RAINBOW BRITE DOLL BACK??? PLEASE???!?!?
PUNY HUMAN KEVIN HAVE ANNOUNCEMENT THAT HE IS MAKING HULK SAY OR HE WILL PUT HULK'S MY LITTLE PONY COLLECTION IN ONLINE SITE EBAY WHERE YOU CAN BUY HULK'S STUFF THAT HULK LEFT AT KEVIN'S PLACE NO PLEASE DO NOT SELL IT.
CLICK HERE for Puny Human Auctions and see comics and stuff that Puny Human Kevin is selling. IF YOU BUY HIS STUFF HE WILL NOT SELL HULK'S STUFF TO PAY FOR HIS HABITS. PUT MY LITE BRITE AWAY IT IS HULK'S IT IS NOT YOURS!!!! Hulk thinks THIS COMIC is the best!!! There are comics with OTHER PEOPLE NOT HULK that Puny Human is selling and you should NOT BUY THOSE, OK? NO WAIT. YOU CAN BUY THOSE. PUT IT DOWN, PUNY HUMAN KEVIN!!!!
If you buy book with HULK SMASHING ON COVER and you want, HULK WILL AUTOGRAPH IT. FREE. YOU JUST SAY YOU WANT IT AUTOGRAPHED. Hulk did not write or draw puny comic but WILL MARK ON IT FOR YOU ANYWAY.
NOW CAN HULK HAVE HULK'S RAINBOW BRITE DOLL BACK??? PLEASE???!?!?
Friday, June 18, 2004
HA HA HA. LIKE EMINEM SAID GUESS WHO IS BACK?
HULK IS BACK!!!
Hulk been really busy - Hulk got job at local toy store and lost it. Hulk got job at local movie theater and lost it. Hulk got job at local Mc Donald's and lost it. Hulk bad at keeping jobs. Hulk is very good at smashing things though, so you tell Hulk where Hulk can work and not have to obey rules like "Do not stick puny human manager into fryolator" and smash things and HULK WILL HAVE JOB.
(PS> THANK YOU PUNY HUMAN KEVIN FOR GIVING HULK PASSWORD AND LETTING HIM USE COMPUTER!!!!)
HULK IS BACK!!!
Hulk been really busy - Hulk got job at local toy store and lost it. Hulk got job at local movie theater and lost it. Hulk got job at local Mc Donald's and lost it. Hulk bad at keeping jobs. Hulk is very good at smashing things though, so you tell Hulk where Hulk can work and not have to obey rules like "Do not stick puny human manager into fryolator" and smash things and HULK WILL HAVE JOB.
(PS> THANK YOU PUNY HUMAN KEVIN FOR GIVING HULK PASSWORD AND LETTING HIM USE COMPUTER!!!!)
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